What I have found to be the "secret" to a healthy marriage
When you get engaged, you get all types of different advice from all types of different people on what the secret to a healthy marriage is... "Don't go to bed angry" you'll hear here. "Always compromise" you'll hear over there. And you'll find out that most of these advice are great and can help (if you apply them of course) to have a healthier relationship. When I was about to get married, I didn't seek to find advice from a lot of people, just from the ones from whom I could really see the fruits. And by fruits I mean, genuine love that has been developed and strengthen through time with a mutual desire to do life together. No need to say, the people I went to were very few. I am very careful about who I let speak life over me.
So I went into this thing called marriage very confident I must say. After all, I had a solid foundation : Jesus, and I felt sure about the commitment I was about to make. Today, 2 years and 3 months in, I can truly say that there were some things we really were prepared for and some other things God had to transform us through. I did learn a lot in those 2 years even though I am absolutely sure we have way more to learn as life will unfold and teach us new things. I am open to new experiences, to the test that will force us to apply what we've heard and what we've read.. And also the test for which the only solution will be to sit at the feet of the cross.
However, I really think I have found a secret...A secret that has been helping us flood our home with pure joy...
Do you know what it is? To keep a child-like spirit
To keep a Child-like spirit is something that many of us know we should do in theory, but applying this in our day too day lives, especially as we enter adulthood deeper, can be quite a challenge. In fact, it is something we forget. Something that my husband and I have understood rapidly, it is that we are under no obligation to forget our child-like spirit just because we are married and expected to be mature and grown. We are in fact very mature individuals with a high sense of responsibility. However, we act like fools all the time. We dance all around the house, we laugh at the stupidest jokes, we act silly, we do things just because they are fun... and in many ways we behave like two children. And you know what? Our bills are still being paid, our savings account are still being filled, we still go through the difficult conversations, we are still pretty much adults.. but we have understood that we do not need to forget to have fun and not to take things too seriously while doing it.
See, many couples forget what it is like to laugh at the smallest thing till their belly hurts. Or maybe some never learned how to do this together. God has created us for JOY. If you follow me on IG, you know how silly we get.(We sometimes crack a joke in the middle of having sex...)
Life itself already has so many burdens of its own. When you choose to partner with someone and do life together, why not make sure it is a fun ride? Not all things need to be so strict and rigid. So what if the room gets dirty while you have a pillow fight? So what something gets broken while playing a dumb game that you probably shouldn't be playing at your age? So what most people your age do not do this? So what... so what?
The only serious thing about your relationship should be your devotion and commitment to one another. Everything else can use some silliness.
We have only been married 2 years... And I know that some couples also started off as laughing a lot, but were not able to make it work. I am not here to pretend I have all of the answers to what it takes for a marriage to work, because I don't. This is why Jesus is the third part of the rope.
"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:12
So today, decide to laugh more. Remember what made you smile/laugh when you had just started dating. Create little inside jokes just between you two. Watch funny shows or movies together... Just laugh, be silly, play, be like kids again..yes,even if you have kids of your own.
What is YOUR secret? Share in the comment box below